Achieving Independence in Play

Independent play isn't something that I often discuss here or on my Instagram page (@aaniin_montessori) because as a childcare provider my job is to actively play, engage in and facilitate learning. However there is so much value to giving children the skills that they need in order to achieve independence in play.

This is more than giving yourself time to drink your beverage of choice in peace, but rather about giving your children foundational skills they need in order to feel successful on their own. Parent-child interactions in play are great for building language and cognitive knowledge, but independent play allows much more room for creativity, ingenuity, resilience and self-help skills. All of these will support your child's ability to take on future tasks independently, learn more about things that interest them by taking the lead of their own learning and over all standing up for the things they desire.

"Sittervising" is a term coined for when you can just be the supervisor of your child's play and act as a sitter should they need any assistance. You stay present within their reach, but you are taking part in a task separate from their's. A good example of this is folding laundry while they play on the floor or swing on the swings. You are fully available to them, but they are able to develop some separation between your activity and theirs. Naturally we want to balance this type of play with more active parent participation, however giving children the liberty to lead their play gives them a sense of self-reliance and control over their own life.

How do I make this possible?

Start small! It may seem like your child is incapable of playing without you, however they may just need more assistance and practice at it. Here are some steps to try and help set you and your child up for success:

1. Set the scene - decide what your child will be doing and what you will be doing. Try to pick something that is often really engaging for your child and something that can be easily set aside for you (i.e. building with blocks and folding laundry

2. Play on their level first - perhaps the first few times you help set the play scene for your child. You may build a tower with them to get them started and then remove yourself

3. Explain to your child what is going to happen - saying things like "I see you are having a lot of fun playing. I am going to fold the laundry that I have brought to the living room while you continue to build!"

4. Reassure them - this is new for them and will potentially be uncomfortable. Make sure that you are ready to reassure their worries by saying things like, "I see you are upset that I am not right beside you. I am going to fold three shirts and then I will add another block to your tower. How many blocks high can you build in the time it takes me to fold three shirts?"

5. Stick with it - it is not going to be an easy process if your child has become reliant on you being a part of your play, however it will become easier for both you and your child and someday you will find yourself cooking in the kitchen or reading a book alongside your child while they build you a surprise or read a new fact that they can't wait to share with you.

The goal of independent play is not to rid our children or push them off into their own spaces. It is to show them that they are so capable and to encourage their love for learning, playing and being as their own individual. Together you can celebrate these moments of independence and engage even deeper when you do come together to form a play partnership at certain times.